Saturday, December 25, 2004 // 5:06 AM

i'm tired, i'm not sleeping tonight. to'morning. stick some caffeine down my throat, i dont know how i am planning to make it, through one more drawn out sunrise and sunfall.

versatility is: coz when i needed someone to talk to, you were
the only one around; small cost it pays to be alone

kenneth, i have so much to say to you, too, but you're right about things, because it's complicated. it's complicated. i'm not sure if you'll understand me, on the day that i tell you, too much of the time i refuse to give you credit, just because. you used to like me.

i'm not very good with things like, logic and coherence. when i have things to say, somehow i like to make people feel it, look for it, misunderstand it.

disaster muffins have covered me in flour. superb. i liked the idea, let's all put rj as our twelfth choice. hello contempt, looking you straight in the eye and for what you are, i dont want to be an illustrous rafflesian.

i saw maryanne, and anisha sent me a christmas card. i miss that. i miss these people, the indian girls i used to hang around with. anisha, you have stayed a convent girl, i have become something, something else. something else.

the one thing, that the most people agree on about me is that, i'm different. i'm different. with connotations, strange, obscure, alien, weird, bizarre.

and i think one of the most misued words in the world is schizophrenic, at least amongst, a middle-class. hey dude, do some research before you start spouting off, will you?

some days i wish. i had a gun, that i could tuck up my skin, somewhere. and every once in a while i'd take it out and shoot someone dead: people mindlessly wreckless, people mindlessly racist, violent, apathetically inconsiderate. sure i'd kill you, i'd shoot you one by one. theatrical doesnt mean that, there is nothing that i strongly believe in. i strongly believe in. a world less or more screwed up than this, the entire universe and it's nothingness, all revolving around me; me me me me me.

i'm a little terrorist sometimes. i really do think so. dying to enforce my beliefs on you, you, you.