this is why i am running away: i am tired
i am afraid
i dont have the space in my life for this
i am unready for this
i am setting myself up for self-destruction
i dont know you, aside from Who You Are
i am unstable, or at least, not a hundred percent otherwise
i want this so much that i scare myself
i am too much like you
i am sick of being sad
i have the rest of my life, to contend with. things i dont want to put down, things that are... sanctuaries, for me, because they distract me from my bitterness. can you imagine that? can you imagine ever trying to understand somebody so screwed up? i can't, can you?
how much patience do you have, anyway.
askew, you
_______________
(giddy dreaming and amends-making and deprecating and feel-good wanting)
(i have made myself ea$ier to plea$e)
-a powerful moutain bike :(
-a pint of bailey's irish
-james; calvin and hobbbes comics
-a true chocolate eclair
-peanuts comics, foxtrot comics
-pearls before swine comics
just give me some good-feeling
-take music seriously
-dance
-(sincere) hugs, often
-less impersonal people to talk to
-honest and self-honest people to talk to
-a regular dose of live music
-to wander around cities in a foreign land
-giggling silliness
-gorgeous landscapes
