Friday, December 03, 2004 // 11:42 PM

what i deleted of overgrown sentiment
-your emails, because i used to save all of them
-the ian and hoonie and joyce emails, all except the last ones. ian's emails go hey ho diddly doo, and that really cracks me up, in a good way.
-corny story emails
-Word emails
-weicong's emails

what i kept of overgrown sentiment
-esther's love and blindness email
-the telling email survey of khin's, because i think it is an indication of a certain point in my life
-Word emails
-wei liang's poem, because it's a good one
-joyce's emails

and i can delete all your emails now, all and all of them, even the one where you wrote that you missed me. now that i feel that i have entered some sort of new stage. deja vu, really, and a disappointment at that. but i kept just one, i guess for all the effort you put in, i couldnt just do that to you, could i?

easy going people, versus you who hurt and are consumed. loaded statements. depressed like sinead o conner, versus depressed like placebo.

if you understand what i am saying by that, you should let me know.

today i ate an honest-to-goodness worm, fell in love with an adorable little boy, have you ever seen such a smile in all your life?

kevin says i have accelerated his Process Of Growing Up, but i think then if you're ready to happen it will happen whatsoever. and i think this because i did the most of my Growing Up overnight, and have responded to identical situations with different frames of mind.

i have spent. ever so long unravelling myself, and undoing years upon years of damage, my entire existence has either been obsessed with construction (both bad and good) or destruction (both good and bad). my mind has been the wreck and the wrecking ball, right from the start, now that i have come so far i dont want to look back any more.