Sunday, January 09, 2005 // 10:24 PM

i am searching for. an edge, a probe, a sensation.

im seriously thinking about transferring to rj after the first three months. if they ask me why, i have no idea what there is that i can say. all this changing seems like something typical of me, change that is frequent, dramatic, erratic, unexpected. ella stop saying things because you frequently boil down to a foot in the mouth.

i learnt pa today, hur hur. i'm still confused by the console, all i remember is that two dials have to be at eight o'clock, two more at twenty db and two others at union. today i have been laughably stupid, twice and unintended. i still wish for endorphins, i wonder why i told you what i did, just like that. just like that. this is like... killing me. i have two weeks to unscrew my mind, this is a. disgusting sensation, and i hate this more than any one i know.

oh how much i lust for inactivity.