Thursday, January 13, 2005 // 10:35 PM

i hate being sick, Lord tell me something. tell me how it is like to rejoice to have plans up in smoke. oh well. meeting with the geppers today felt like a breath of the freshest air, i never expected to miss them but i do. i do i do i do. i think perhaps i come to expect every one to think like a gep, i really believe that there is something at least a little different about us. or some of us, at least, freaking, freaking snob.

ella. ella i wish you had would try harder to be less-than-a-bitch, i wish your conscience would. hurt a little. you're going to become one of those sordid people, i know.

because i dont care. would it be artificial to say, Lord help me care. but i dont want to say things like that, i've found some unlikely equilibrium, at least one momentary, at least one i can be intrigued with. you, are you like me too? because the things you said run through my mind, it would be entirely pointless to hope for reprieve.

jo. jo im thinking of you, the panadol im popping reminds me of you. i like kevin's nick, the poetic petrol station attendant. little lego men potter around in my head.

feel, feel or completely otherwise. my life has been nothing short of a stage.