Sunday, January 30, 2005 // 10:43 PM

im not going to let you stop me. please, please make this concession. wilfred tells me that Guys Will Notice Me if i am more girly, i am so thoroughly amused by that. i dont know how to say to you, for this point in my life at least, that is perhaps the last thing i want. i like all this comfort, i like feeling normal to be the only girl hanging around a whole bunch of guys. like prata, yesterday, lunch today. and you will probably make a dig about my maternal instincts, we will laugh it off over a joke. frisbee game was good today, i really like jieren because she makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. and ding, and zhiyong, and matthew, and sam, because i would never have imagined myself talking to all these people, people in my sister's generation, people who tell me that she was such an interesting person and people who tell me, i remind them so much of her. i dont know if i miss you, michelle. i only know that im aokay when you're not around, but every time we make a break after spending a week or two together, im the saddest that i'll ever admit to myself. junipher's such a darling name, i like funny little people like job, job and his gorgeous-ness of a crumpler bag, job and his inky sketches of ladies-and-gentlemen all decked up in victorian dress. i want to be this comfortable, this much free. i only had ten minutes, to play the sanctuary piano, today, talk to marcus, do my homework. while they were running around the basketball court, i retold dingo's stupid muahchee joke, flexed my tongue in different directions. this has been a marvellously enjoyable day, i'm afraid.

nicely tired and desiring long hours of sleep. there's another week-end to look forward to.