Sunday, January 30, 2005 // 1:45 AM

what he said to me today, i've never met any one so confused. it seems like people are always saying the quirkiest things to me, about me. im in love with the sanctuary piano. zhiwen sang while i played, and i panicked and prayed when he reverted to a song on a different page. but the fact that a made it, close to perfectly, i just hope that after years and years and years, i am starting to be able to play for real.

went for sam and clarence ding's photog course. intrigued, and failing physics, and feeling sad about how i'm never going to study a science again. i told michelle today, i want to be a humanities student, but i do want to understand science. it intrigues me, while humanities come easy. i think bandage 90% stank and i wont hide it. 90% because i am still failing math, and because my retrospect is always in extremes of technicolour. certainly, certainly certainly i've seen better. it just makes me ache to for a real thing, hopefully with people who rave like i do.

the sky was grainy while we were walking out of school, i want to take up photography. i want to go for a rhcp concert, and a gnr concert. it feels silly to sit down to rock music.

dont know what to think about you. things no longer feel loaded but certainly far away from something true, whatever memory i have been clinging on to, about you, is surely fading fast. this is the step after immortalisation, i just wont care any more, or i'll try my hand, at least. how i feel like, but you crawled beneath my veins and now. am not in a position to say that i dont miss it at all.