Wednesday, February 02, 2005 // 11:27 PM

look how they shine for you
gee. gee i want to learn how to be nice like you, you seem so sincerely so. there are worse things, i know, than debatable stupidity. arent you honoured, you have me gone and done up all voyeur, lapping you up like the local paparazzi.

i only dont know what to think of you because he is telling me otherwise every day.

something strange is that i clench my fists every time i kick the ball during soccer. against the guys i can only score when the goalie is awol, not paying attention.

and jill is so cute, jill is my new shufen. two words i hate, words like clique, words like chio. i know why you like me, it is because you'd decided things all on your own right from day two. sleeping pills would be perfect, kenneth, or how about domestic happiness, this is what i have always been afraid of, being the last child. what do i do with you, you've built time and existance around me.

because we've lost something that perhaps we never really had, and you can not even begin to bring it back. like milking a dead cow, squeezing the juice from a year-old lemon. you probably won't be too happy, to know how i've betrayed you once again.

i had a lot of things to say today. i come home to your grievances and i push aside homework for a few more minutes. everything goes away when the right song comes on.