Saturday, February 19, 2005 // 1:37 AM

on the stage i would like to be a different person. talking about dramafeste would some how dilute the experience, there is no way to give pure credit to the hugs and the euphoria and the dramatic sweep of events. that i hate rehearsing but love performing ought bother me, my need to fully interpret and manifest only when its beyond an official challenge. there is the physicality of things, my tired eyes and my tired voice, my wanting to lie in bed past noon, tomorrow. manifestation of stage time, versus dramafeste time, which involves a lot of flowers and people that i have sorely missed, a lot of screaming and cheering and taking of pictures. the two, they tire me in different ways, they are different kinds of semi-happiness. but things that might stay with me: searching in the dark for a curtain's exit, being caught up in a situation you might never legitimately experience, in your everyday scope of things.

what i know for certain's certain: i will be glad at the retrieval of time, i will be overjoyed to return to soccer training. there is going to come a day when i lack the energy for such excitement, before which things like these might establish themselves as crutches or hearing aids, the grip that sloth has, on my sanity. exhaustion has come but near enough, to convince me of this much. good night world, i've had enough of your splendour than a day might care for.