Saturday, April 02, 2005 // 11:39 PM

i know a few factoid kings, but they are of different kinds. no queens, though. kevin you qualify.

sometimes it feels like charity. sometimes it feels like charity is too close to running out.

some times it feels like arrogance, but it is only when things get worked out, rationally, in my mind. i think to some extent you cant realy help the person that you are. not that, that should stop you from some sort of congenial effort.

three things i want to buy. a camera, an mp3 player, a (crumpler) bag, sports shoes. okay four. will hunt down shoes at queensway with sarah some day, but jeannette has declared herself too broke to go camera shopping with me. boohoo. i cant bargain for nuts and this is a bad skill to lack, i think.

i muchly like moses's mp3 collection. i want/need more computer space. i need to learn to get along with computers, or i do, but it is cordial, not fully utilized. it is the tenant who doesnt dare to tell the landlord when the bathtub has clogged up, and so. bathes in the toilet bowl, scrubs in the sink.

you know. my head is a dumb thing. because i remember one snippet of conversation with my mentor, where i am saying, in wanting to defend singlish i need to first fully understand the rival point of view. but i cant remember the idea that followed, which is irritating, because i think that was the actual research idea that i was going to go along with. i also remember saying that i feel like i am in no position to say anything for sure about singlish, a by-product of beign Singaporean, what does that entail really and what do i know about it. at all. do i go intellectual or do i go philosophical or do i go political. there are a million ways i could drag this around, change it into something completely unrecognisable.

i am keeping this placebo video on my computer for a glimpse of the drummer's anguished expression, all of brian molko's black eyeliner. his mouth wide open and olsdal, with some sort of artificial light in his eye. kill me, kill me now, this is not the junkiest i can be.

i also want a good sound system, a stereo that is not going to shit up my cds, though i am somewhat convinced by sam of this inevitability. should i or should i not sell my soul and buy an ipod?

there are a lot of people who refuse to have a real conversation. oh well. this is cultural difference, this is why school bored me to tears in the beginning. you're the one who makes me feel much taller than you are. dumb emiticons, instant cutesification of a good conversation.