training just about killed me, flat out on the tumble track i felt like crying because i hadn't, earlier on. my concentration is not enough and my body is not listening to me. my reflex is to curl up my limbs into a ball, to go loose like a plate of sand. dumb body listen to me! i've suddenly realised in an instant of how much screwed i am for trampoline.
jteh i still want to kick you in the shins and it is killing me that i want to, because i dont want to be a violent girl violent person but i am i am i am. i havent done anything violent in school yet and honestly i dont want to i dont want to. but it is in me and i know it, verything i feel is violent and sometimes i cant control it sometimes things burst and i do things that i really, really. really dont want to. this takes a lot of clenching of fists at your decidedly smarmy callousness.
im a control freak, let's establish that i'm both sorry and not sorry, about that much.
askew, you
_______________
(giddy dreaming and amends-making and deprecating and feel-good wanting)
(i have made myself ea$ier to plea$e)
-a powerful moutain bike :(
-a pint of bailey's irish
-james; calvin and hobbbes comics
-a true chocolate eclair
-peanuts comics, foxtrot comics
-pearls before swine comics
just give me some good-feeling
-take music seriously
-dance
-(sincere) hugs, often
-less impersonal people to talk to
-honest and self-honest people to talk to
-a regular dose of live music
-to wander around cities in a foreign land
-giggling silliness
-gorgeous landscapes
