Wednesday, July 27, 2005 // 11:00 PM

strictly speaking i know i'm not bored, but this is a new one i am pulling. the good girl campaign could get on my nerve some time soon, quick because i need to do something wreckless to keep myself insane.

it feels completely unnatural, and so i need some sort of compromise, between a Good Girl Self and the normal me. coming home straight after school so many days straight is an extremely weird sensation, i dont think i can take much more of it. despite how much ma would like me to spend more time in the house. i watched monty python and should have watched goodbye lenin instead, seems more like my kind of show. mister all-is-pop dingo would like to believe that there is no such thing as kind of person where media is concerned, and while i dont believe in the absolute, that's like denying completely that sociology extends to media consumption.

i think i've saturated myself with sleep.

i pissed off a whole lot of people in maths lect today, i am SORRY. so i should not sit with andrew during during maths lect anymore, or learn to talk softer, it is not that i am speaking in my usual loudmouth volume it is just the studious silence of everyone else in the lt. it is how very low andrew's voice is, so as to unfairly escape detection. and so i should persist despite how math does not interest me in the least.

i feel like i have marooned myself on an island, like i have been the one cutting off contact with more or less every single person. i cant live like this because i like people, very muchly. my not having talked to so many people in so very, very long: how have you all been? i should just message someone on msn and go hello how are you doing. but i get to bum around with ex-ny-gymmers tomorrow, and i get to bake with fong on friday if she doesnt forget and run off with nameless people/person leaving me all on my lonesome. saturday i get to play floorball with wilfred if his giggly high of getting a new two hundred dollar stick hasnt worn off yet, and i get a phone on sunday, which is fantastic news as far as xinyi is concerned, who will no longer have to wait for me for two hours at bus stops again as long as my new phone continues to be around.

SOMEBODY WATCH A MOVIE WITH ME RAWR. and i dont know who i picked the rawr up from but it reminds me of jeannette, who i have not talked to for a significantly long time. and thinking about jeannette makes me think of amanda, and the collective thinking of them makes me think of camp, and sharon, and how i am going to write her letter by tomorrow.

i would like to return to that sort of closeness.