Monday, July 11, 2005 // 10:18 PM

you. i wont shame you and be a hypocrite. if you know where to find me, you'll find me. i know you will.

all this thinking has left me breathless, unfulfilled. all this waxing hypothetical, all this rabid defence, qualification, clarfication. i do so hate the intellectual processes, please dont be fooled by how oft i go into them. there are intellectual giants who's tyranny i refuse to live under anymore: existentialism, relativity, whatever. whatever. think until your brains spill out of your heads, i dont see how it's doing you a single bit of good at all. i cant respect that, i cant, i cant. tell me this is all you wanted out of life, tell me that this is enough to keep you going, til the very end of your days. id rather be out in the sun, id rather be watching a good movie, id rather be playing my piano. take me out of this endless rigmarole, take me out of your ballgame.

one thing i've come to learn that has been an absolute shock to me is that people dont care about being good people. im sorry, i dont think i want to know how you can live with yourself like that, this is me and my own limitation. what seems to me like common sense is worlds apart to someone else, vice versa. people are complicated, at least in a mass. im not going to believe otherwise, right now.

shaoning gave me another (cheesecake karaoke) song :D