Saturday, August 06, 2005 // 2:08 AM

fop was a loaded Something-Else, not my scene, at the end of the day. i can't bring myself to confuse my own version of worship with your good ol raving rock concert.

but i do want to go for a rock concert sometime soon, with respectable music, up on your feet. where can i sign up for a simple good time? we wandered around some random building in pitch night just for the heck of it, and it makes me think of how we are growing up, i am growing old, i have very few friends who would still do this with me right now. who would climb onto the roof with me, who would invest in cheap thrills for at best no reason at all.

me legs ache and i am half asleep for three straight days of Late Nights. how have i found myself in such good girl company, with shumay, who is appalled at my getting home midnight post midnight on a school night? i miss these days, i fight the something that tells me i should leave them behind, take things responsible-seriously. and caffeine will cure my pending sleepiness but not the sheer exhaustion, i just know i will nod off while ecashia comes down the aisle, tomorrow.

please don't take this the wrong way, but you should know: when you told of how you thought you were more mature than most people your age, it was proof enough of the exact contrary. but what would i know, perhaps i am a different kind of girl, one who is cursed with actually growing up, reaching post-teenhood.

what's all the glamour surrounding adulthood anyway, who wouldnt want to remain a child, selfish obsessed and tantrumable, if it were possible? if given the chance to get away with it?