Saturday, August 20, 2005 // 12:05 AM

me

me, i've started something, havent i? gosh this is addictive, gosh this is contagious. look me in the eye, tell me you couldn't care less, and that it is effortless. i won't buy a single second of it.

i've come to realise. i dont think i could live in an artless world, i dont think i could disentagle from the thing called poetry. not, not forever, not for more than a few hours, laughing silly with fong's friends, being a person i have come so far from being. perhaps it is just the of-late softness, it is me wanting so awfully to feel something, all the time. i. i can't do this, this is where i want to be, where i might be the happiest, i don't care if they label me the heady idealist, i dont care if they think me pretentious for wanting things to look nice, sound better, all the time. i like it very much here, it is a self indulgent hole in the universe, where i curl up with my imagination, wile the time away. (im sorry, im sorry just look at all this gorgeousness, is there anything else a girl could ask for? to be overwhelmed with wonderment, to marvel forever?) yes please, give me this, give me this for the rest of time, i don't need very much else at all.

hello. sometimes im obnoxious, at these times you ought to. to reach across the table and smack me in the face. but i didnt want to be there, i wanted to be out on the highway, driving fast with the windows open, kings of convenience on the stereo. could i be the first one to describe sports cars as charming? something here i did not see, hello, i like you for this much, very, very much. for all your slick charmlessness, for all your technical frivolities. i don't care, anything that gets the job done, anything that makes me feel good, goes.

obnoxoius, good night obnoxious.