Saturday, September 17, 2005 // 11:40 PM

hello, hello weekend that would be the best of its kind, if not for promos, promos in twelve days, no less.

i liked. i liked the porridge for breakfast in the morning that i asked for, i liked playing the piano in the galilee sanctuary when it was just me and maybe kwanie, who appeared out of nowhere and made no noise (except good trumpet-esque ones, but that was later). i would like a mixture between the grand piano in our sanctuary, and the grand piano in galilee church. letters, i have letters to write, letters to finish, daryl shumay serene christl am i missing any body out? promos, i think i realised the hopelessness of my situation on friday night, somewhere before the very good adrenalin high of a basketball game, before the very good coffee ice cream, the lift home courtesy of kwanie, who lets me wind the windows down and say nothing.

does this sound strange. when im studying lit, all my tiredness disappears, or becomes a nonevent. i get sucked into it, even at 3 am post french-revolution-studying, that means brain dead, that means ever greatly wanting sleep. i think i should study literature in university becaues it's just so relatively effortless. i want to be less busy, i want to be less busy some day soon. this, what i am doing right now. this is madness, this is Not Rational for someone as utterly lazy as i am.

kevin i called you One Of My Best Friends Today. you, you and a certain fong.

i wish i had talked more to tricia today. she seems like a girl that i'd like to get along with. i have been on my feet all day, i am not tired as of Right Now but in a few hours i am going to be, i know i am going to be. next up comes zixi's birthday at midnight (which is a bigger event than an sms happy birthday wish), daryl's leaving from four to six am, moses says, emotionally draining day. and i'm not emotionally drained yet despite zhixian's pending mopeyness in the last few hours, it's been purely nice to see how the guys deal with this kinda thing. so many other places i wanted to be a few hours ago, i wanted to be playing badminton with edric, talking to jason/marcus, talking to daryl who will be gone in a few hours. i wish i could. split myself up to participate. i'm dreading the pending exhaustion, i should be out of the house right now in fact, i am only sitting here in front of my computer typing because writing is therapy, one of the best for me.

some days i can forget about myself.

in a few hours i am likely to feel different