Tuesday, November 29, 2005 // 12:56 AM

i realised:

i still don't want to subscribe to the clique idea, i refuse to have my whole self homogenised. the only compromise i can offer is to conceal sides of myself that you will not be able to relate to, unless i think you can handle it. person, i am a person, and i am full of ideas that don't belong in the same person, you might feel, but i refuse to accept killing off any particular part of myself, for sake of fitting in alone. (other reasons may qualify)

i've lost touch with my own style, and i want to get it back. i've lost touch with my own self and i want to get it back, i want to find out what it is exactly i believe in, and where my loyalties lie. who i am, what i respect, what i subscribe to. subscribe, i suppose it'd be impossible to not subscribe to any culture at all, but i refuse to do so fully, or rather, i refuse to do so mindlessly.

i'm quite a chameleon, and i think very very few people have seen all my sides. there is a Real Me somewhere inside that i can still recognize, and this is why, this is why i want to rediscover myself before it is too late, before that realness portion of me suffocates, dies, becomes unrecognizable.

and yet, so far, at the end of the day: people are just people are just people.