Wednesday, December 14, 2005 // 2:44 PM

i know this sounds terribly arty farty, but i spent the entire day in the largest art gallery in victoria, and i still didn't manage to finish it. neither am i going to get the chance to, because the world stops at five here in aussieland, and i am leaving for sydney tomorrow. why am i going to the suburbs to stay with people who don't even want me around, sigh. not that i blame them, i just wish i didn't have to. michelle the sister says i should stay with backpackers in the city, and just wander around there on my own. i have enough contacts, enough information, to think that i might survive, i just might, on my own. one thing i have reaslised if nothing else, i am a city girl, and how could i be anything else, living in singapore all my life. i miss how safe singapore is, i miss i miss i miss the night and i want to go home.

home is singapore, is the only home i've ever known. my parents don't share my sentiments, and i, i. i just want to push off this decision.

i wish i could be mature about this, i can not. your fervently trying to force this down my throat just triggers a repeated and increasingly violent gag reflex, which is conditioning me so that just the mere mention of the word fills my mouth with distaste. go away, i can't take this! this is not the way to convince me of anything, let alone an idea that i am apprehensive to say the least, about accepting.