Monday, January 09, 2006 // 11:13 PM

today i talked to dingo. i do so tire of big groups of people, lots of everybody sitting around saying not much. so even though i technically talk to dingo every single day in school, today i talked to dingo and it made a one percent difference to the quality of my day.

i think it's easy for me to get back into school because i actually like the stuff i'm studying. if things weren't such a big disorganized mess, all around me, right now. if i wasn't rushing for deadlines on friday, monday, i think. i think i really could enjoy this.

there's something about the piano i can't get. im frustrated sometimes with how retarded my fingers are, but it's not just my fingers, i know, it's the entire musical sense that fails to catch on, to things. it's the piano introduction to coldplay's trouble, it's the gorgeous clanging in the background to starsailor's alcoholic, i so, so want to be able to play like that.

and today, rubbing my feet against the carpet and looking out at the gorgeous view from the 13th floor of the national library, it occurs to me that i'm such an utter child, in the very precocious teenager sense of the word. i'm not precocious, anymore, because i know that if i put any sort of conscious effort into being alert, i'm perfectly capable of being sharp and something closer to an adult. but for all my supposed street-smart-ness i'm just completely clueless as to the things that go on around me, and i like it, i really do like being this way. hello, my name is naive, and i feel like i am walking around in a bigger person's shoes.

my best moment of today was when i turned the corner on the way from the bus stop to my house and i looked up at the sky and realised it was drizzling like heck and it made me feel really really really really happy.