Monday, April 24, 2006 // 9:11 PM

i'd like to pin the Feeling Lousy on my being sick. i'd like to pin my Not Wanting To Write Any Letters Right Now Even Though I Have The Time To For The First Time In A Long Long While on be being sick.

i think i've gone so deep into debt that i just don't care anymore. sigh. this is probably not a good way to go. i also don't want to do this with letters. i'm trying to reorientate myself to the whole concept of doing work. physical blah-ness is a reason or an excuse.

looking at the gym photos i realise how very different i look with my hair tied up. who's that girl man, who's that girl looking like a girl. it would be more therapeutic to chop it all off it there were more to be chopping off. i think gym and the gym people bring out a rarer side of me. i'm a little amused at how they think i bring so much laughter into their training lives. if funniness is a part of me i wish it would come to stay, more often, instead of my manic seriousness.

ella wants longer fingers. my short stubby fingers seem to be a bigger problem for guitar as compared to piano.

what i wouldn't give for a holiday right now.