Sunday, August 06, 2006 // 11:28 PM

eventually, all walls must fall

i'm bored to tears of my words. i want to read again, to go through books like a dream. and to take on someone else's voice for a while, because i'm finding my own ill-fitting, insufficient.

i like The Handmaid's Tale. atwood's voice resonates with me.

kwanie says:
dear ella...
thank you for messaging,
so happens i am busy.. and yea.. our candles can't seem to meet..
i'm doing pretty well... just the bane of doing boring stuff at this point of time...
i wanted to call you today, but i stumbled upon your blog. you were in the a quiet mood

i miss kwanie, really, and i hardly know what is going on in his life now. and i miss kevin too, who has slowly grown up under my very nose, and who i really can't talk down to, anymore.

and i miss sebbie too, strangely. i haven't had these conversations for a while. i like the sound of it, how it feels, rolling off my tongue: Irgendwann fallt jede mauer, or, eventually, all walls must fall.

and i'm not stupid, a girl can tell, with these things. but i will pretend, for a while anyway, to be ignorant, because. because i like it better this way.