Monday, August 28, 2006 // 10:17 PM

i'm sitting here watching the screen roll as shumay rants about how terrible the film version of handmaid's was. hurhurhur.

me: i didn't run today! flabflabflabflab...
christl: but flab is attractive!

the more i study, the more i am overcome by the desire to do Incredibly Bimbotic Things.


--

and i'm sorry. it crossed my mind, today, the slow sheepishness, at the words floating to me from across the table, the sudden wanting to have done you better. to have been a better person, not just to you. i'm sorry because i haven't thought about you at all, all this while, becaues all this while i've only thought about me, me, me. and maybe, maybe. maybe you deserve better than that.

so maybe what i have needed is the space to step back, out of my own skin, to look at things for what they are, to wait for clarity, in the form of another perspective.