Sunday, September 24, 2006 // 9:31 PM

all walls are great if the roof doesn't fall says:
why are you perpetually in such a good mood?
all walls are great if the roof doesn't fall says:
its quite amazing
your huckleberry friend says:
because bad moods dont help a thing
your huckleberry friend says:
and mood swings get you dizzy
all walls are great if the roof doesn't fall says:
hurhur
all walls are great if the roof doesn't fall says:
how very practical
your huckleberry friend says:
practical and happy is better than indulgent and suicidal :)

I think, in the past weeks, the stress has gotten to me, without my knowing it. Even though I haven't been anxious-neurotic, I have been a lot of other things. I would like to say I have not been myself, I want to say, to believe, that much.

And I don't want to be cynical. You choose the attitude you bring with you when you go about things, and. And I think something I've lately come to forget is that I want ot be happy. I want to remember this, hold it in my hands, even as I go back into this hole of studying. Stay, this burst of clarity, this moment of something-like-optimism.

"...many books
Wise men have said are wearisome; who reads
Incessantly, and to his reading brings not
A spirit of judgement equal or superior,
(And what he brings, what needs he elsewhere seek)
Uncertain and unsettled still remains,
Deep-versed in books and shallow in himself."
-Paradise Regained, John Milton

Today walking home I thought about the simple things. Which is what I have, from today, which is what I hold in my hands, hold to my heart; if anything could ever be this good forever. I hate to say that, but I can't squish the sinking feeling.