Friday, September 01, 2006 // 1:16 AM

i took a two hour journey home, gazing out the window of the bus. with world war one on my lap and all that time to think about absolutely nothing in particular. it's cold outside, i walked the long way home, in a strange way right now, i miss dennis.

there are quite a lot of people i miss, will come to miss. i think i'm going to miss shumay and co, gery and esther and classmates, even jo and gab who i hardly talk to, because they've been immensely fun to be with. i really want gery and esther to make it to oxford, i don't know why. i miss fong the way fong used to be, but that doesn't mean any less of love. in some senses, maybe it means more.

it isn't really a maudlin, gushy kind of miss, like the inside of a marshmallow. i just think of times before and conversations that have passed between us and want that much back, and not just because my life is supposed to be concerned with work, right now. it's like how i want to sit kevin down and talk to him, but when we actually do talk, it's rarely about anything much. every once in a while there's the tell me all your thoughts on God conversations, but most of the time it's hurhur stewpid i'm going to play mahjong now. but i liked what he said, that day, when i said i would rather spend time with people than books, and he said i would rather spend time with people who read books. kevin, like dennis, makes me feel like a kid, sometimes. kevin who calls me at all the wrong times (during lessons, for example), who mocks me with singlish, who answers my angsty-3-am-what-is-the-meaning-of-life questions with a 42, my little sugar plum, or something as cheerfully ridiculous. kevin who has a voice like melted butter, who brings out the bimbo in me despite being one of the most intelligent people i know, kevin who reminds me of calvin, and hobbes, from calvin and hobbes.

suzanne vega has the most gorgeous voice. i think my favourite moments of today were dinner and the ride home. <3 xinyi and the raffles city market place.