Saturday, November 11, 2006 // 3:58 AM

Sometimes it feels like Jo understands. Oh well, as big of a cliche I am being, with all these philosophies pitting themselves against each other in my head, it is something I think about, and until I resolve it with myself somehow, it isn't going to go away. I can't peaceably pretend the world's one fantastic place to me all the time.

But I do know one thing, though, I need people to keep me sane. The inside of my head doesn't seem to be that bad a place until I get to talk to people again and realise that one of two options makes me much happier, that there are reasons, really, for why I think the way I do. Went for supper with Kinyip and Terence and talked rubbish and non-rubbish and walked home and sat with them in the playground I associate with Kinyip because I've spent hours there talking to him before. I feel like I haven't really talked to anyone in the longest time, and I liked tonight, because the two of them are a good combination because everyone's on even ground where the other person is concerned.

Walking out to meet them, from my house to the bus-stop, I thought about Dennis and how I once walked around the neighbourhood with him and how he'd spottted a bee-hive and wanted to report it. And how he said something about being very civic-conscious, or something like that. Which is something rather strange to associate with him, right now. I don't know why, but he's got a very distinct impression, in my mind.

I repeat, it's been a gorgeous day, outside. I'm glad I got to walk so much, and I'm glad for the company because it's been so long. To be comfortable and personal and as honestly superficial or whatever as I want to be.